It’s a year since I started this blog, on what turned out to be day minus three of my journey into vaping. It’s been an amazing year; some incredible ups and one of the worst downs of my life. A year ago I was mired in the stigma of my smoker status, imposed on my by people who don’t know me and really don’t care about me as an individual. My self esteem was at rock bottom and I was secretly ashamed of the simple fact that I liked smoking and I didn’t want to give it up. I knew I had to do something though. I was absolutely determined that I was never going to quit again. That way had been marked, “no entry” a very long time before. It would only have made the whole situation worse as I would have yo-yo quit again. And so my self esteem would have got lower still, and I’d still have been trapped in the spiral. I’ll mark my actual vapeaversary with a post on the 21st, but what I really want to do is send this message back to my smoker self, sitting typing a year ago.
Don’t make such a big deal out of it girl, because it’s not. Really it isn’t. It’s going to be one of the easiest and simplest processes you ever went through. You know what else? You’re going to love it. You’re going to make some really good online friends. You’re going to discover that you actually don’t much like tobacco flavours, and that you wouldn’t want a vape that tasted just like a cigarette at all. Creme Caramel is going to be your old faithful flavour, but all-day-vapes will come and go. Relax and get out of the “quit” headspace. Today was the day you decided to stop cutting down and quitting forever.
It being Sunday night I had my regular chat with my mum. She told me that she was so glad I’d found vaping; that it’s given her the “old Beki” back. That I’m happier, less brain fogged, quicker on the uptake. She’s also absolutely delighted that my singing voice has come back so well. I’m going to work on all my old standards to record and send down to her over the next few weeks. Queue one very happy mum. Vaping has given me ever so much more than I lost through choosing not to smoke. My quality of life is so much better now than it was either when smoking or having quit on all my failed attempts before. That’s how it’s worked so well for me.
Vape on my lovelies, I couldn’t have done any of this without you. Thank you.